Random thoughts on Life, Leadership, & Messy Spirituality

Pastors/Leaders – Keep It In Your Pants!

In light of a couple well known pastors falling into sexual sin recently – I thought I would re-share a blog post I did about a year & a half ago. This should serve as a cautionary reminder to all of us. None of us are above this temptation. Here is the post – please read & share…

In the past 2 weeks – I’ve found out that 4 people I know have had extramarital affairs & 2 of them are pastors! I am saddened, sick to my stomach, & really pissed off about this! (Sorry, but there’s no spiritual way to put it) My heart hurts for the spouses, children, & in 2 cases, churches who are rocked by these revelations. I’m also ticked off that now non-Christians will have yet another example to point to & say – “See, those churches, those pastors, those Christians — hypocrites…”

There’s a reason God warns us so strongly about this. Proverbs 6:32 – “But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul.” Proverbs 6:26 says – “Adultery will cost a man everything that he has.” We are baffled by & laugh at a guy like Esau in the O.T. Bible who was so hungry that he sold his birthright for a bowl of food? THAT’S ABSURD!  Yet so many people sell away their marriage, their home, their family, and their life – for one stinkin’ moment of pleasure!

Many of you are in difficult marriages & are wondering whether it’s really worth the time, and energy, and work, and pain to revive & make your marriage work.  I want to say to you today – a very resounding “HELL YES!” Get counseling. change jobs, whatever it takes – because  the cost of fixing, maintaining, and making your marriage work – is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING compared to the cost of adultery and divorce.

Here’s my “Big 3” reasons why I am committed to faithfulness…

1) I love Jesus Christ! I really do – unashamedly – I love Him! He is the #1 priority of my life – He died for me – everything that I have I have because of His love for me – and I really don’t want to disappoint Him.

2) I love my family! I really am crazy about them (most — of the time :-) ) And I’m not going to do anything that is going to hurt them!

3) I fear the judgment of God! You need to hear that today! God says that you don’t do this and get away with it! As pastors & leaders we are going to have to stand before God some day, we are held to a much higher level, & we’re going to have to answer some TOUGH questions about how we have led our lives, families, businesses & churches. Unlike most people who have to answer only for their life & their family – we will have to answer for how we have led hundreds, if not thousands of families. James 3:1 – “…not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly.”

When you as a leader truly understand the weight & responsibility that God has placed on your shoulders – the thought of that should just about make you PEE YOUR PANTS! 70% of leaders in the Bible didn’t finish well – I doubt that pastors & leaders today are doing any better. It is time for us to develop a “healthy fear” of one day standing before God & answering some very tough questions.

To that end – let me share a couple of practical ideas to help us as leaders to “keep in in our pants”. (BTW: This very much applies to the ladies. 1 of those 4 was a female)

1) MAGNIFY THE CONSEQUENCES! We need to develop that “healthy fear” & we need to keep in the front of our minds the consequences/what’s at stake.

2) MANAGE YOUR MARRIAGEAdultery usually occurs in cold, dead, stale marriages.  So if you keep your relationship alive and growing – it is great prevention. Have that date night, communicate, get counseling if needed. Sit down with your spouse, read 1 Corinthians 7:5 & develop a plan together to keep the romance & intimacy alive & well in your marriage.

3) MANAGE YOUR MIND! What you think about – you will eventually feel. And what you feel – you will eventually act on. The problem is  – most of us won’t get serious about our minds!  “I can watch/look at this stuff – it won’t affect me.” DON’T BE A FREAKIN’ IDIOT! That is deceiving ourselves – because the battle begins in the mind. It is impossible to not let what you put in your mind affect your life! When you take garbage into your mind – it settles in your heart – and I guarantee you – it WILL eventually work its way out in your life.

4) MAINTAIN PROPER RELATIONSHIPS! Studies show that affairs typically occur between friends, co-workers, & family members – Translation – with someone you already know! NONE OF US are immune from this – & the moment you think you are – you had better watch out! Choose friends carefully, get some accountability & transparency in your life. Put some hedges of protection in your life – establish some guidelines/standards to avoid ever being in a situation where you might be tempted. Basically, DON”T BE STUPID!!!

Pastor/Leader – God chose YOU! God called YOU! And you said “Yes” to leading your church – & to the weight & responsibility that comes with that. As a result, our spiritual enemy knows your name, address, your spouse, your kids, your church, your habits, your weaknesses —- & he has got his sights set on you. “The thief comes to steal, kill, & destroy...” He would love nothing more than to bring you, your family, your church, & what God is doing in your midst to its knees. DO NOT LET IT HAPPEN!

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